Attending university seems to be the life goal that many of us have been fed by society from the moment we were young. Ever since I was four I have been in education. That's 19 years. Nineteen straight years whereby my life was primarily organised around the academic calendar of kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, and now university.
Strangely enough, this will come to an end in a mere four months. That's scary.
In four months, the majority of how I've spent my entire life would change.
My life will no longer be dictated by an academic year but by a work schedule that may or may not be kind.
Not to forget, this will be my last 'summer holiday' (if I manage to get hired for a job for September that is).
That takes us to another wonderful stress factor.
In the next four weeks I have to both finish my thesis and attend assessments by companies that I've applied for. That's a lot to prepare. The thesis counts for a third of my final grade while these job applications determine my future.
Thesis writing is no fun game. Thankfully, I really do love the topic I've chosen and I can't wait to see the finished product, but getting there is extremely difficult and stressful. Despite the fact that I have three scheduled hours of class per week (I know that sounds like heaven, I do agree). But I really am pretty much spending my time in front of my laptop from morning to night trying to complete my project bit by bit.
The assessment days have been very challenging to be honest. Personally it's a strange situation where my own internal feelings conflict. You want to be the best and show the company that you're the candidate they're looking for. Simultaneously, you're put into groups, you make friends, and you also want them to succeed. You hear about their stories and how hard they worked to get there as well. Then, you also pick out the people in the group who act friendly but those feelings aren't sincere. At the end of the day, it really challenges you mentally. Of course I've only attended two so far, but I definitely needed to take a break after the whole day just to rest my brain.
Taking a day out to be with any loved ones can sometimes feel like a guilty pleasure - as if to say, I shouldn't be socialising, but be looking up more research. Not to forget, exams are in May but of course, there's no time to think about them at this moment. Other things bear more priority.
I'm just thinking out loud.
I know it'll get better.
I know it's all worth it.
Just need to keep reminding myself that.